What Does a Beauty Pageant Convey to a Girl?

July 20, 2015
Last evening, something slipped out of my mouth and I immediately wished it back in. It’s not politically correct. I’m a Public Affairs worker! I shouldn’t be controversial!
But today, I don’t mind that my opinion launched itself into broad daylight. In fact, after considering, I have decided to muse on the subject on CCC.
I know some are going to bugged, annoyed, irritated and possibly insulted.
Can’t help it.

I’m speaking of beauty pageants. I said last night that I think they’re glorified prostitution.
Strong language, I know.

Image result for miss america pageant contestants
Pick out a hair-do! 

Image result for miss america pageant contestants

I counted about 15 different pageant winners in our local Independence Day Parade. Lot’s of sequins. Lot’s of makeup. I hope there was lots of sunscreen, too. I can only imagine the amount of body makeup it would take if those lovely lasses were freckled by the unforgiving Oklahoma sun! There were so many “Miss-es” that we pretty much stopped looking to read their banners. Who cares what girl won what contest?Image result for miss america pageant contestants
But if I think about it, I recognize a tragedy.  Here’s why.
Beauty pageants has a lot in common with prostitution. Money is given to the girl with the “best” body and “most” talent.

Image result for miss america pageant contestants
There’s slim and then there’s starvation skinny. 

Pageants quantify a human being’s value based on external factors. Often entrants pay a very high price in money (entrance fees, costumes, personal trainers,
photos, hair, makeup manicures, pedicures, cure-alls and curlers). The higher price is in over-exercising and the long term effects of starvation to fit the mold of a bikini-worthy body.
Then there’s the price in self worth. I can’t imagine a woman enjoying strutting down a runway in a skimpy bikini or revealing evening gown while judges write their comparative comments and rankings. If she does enjoy it, why? That’s the stuff of nightmares!
What message are we giving our young women when we create a contest that determines the “best” girl. What must her priorities be if she is to win the prize? She only succeeds if all the rest fail. Isn’t that the exact opposite of Jesus’s teachings?
I’m not speaking of the contestants.  I’m condemning the concept of a beauty pageant. It’s degrading, disrespectful and most of the priorities it promotes are opposite of what I want my daughter and granddaughters (and sons and grandsons) to value.

What if we get to the pearly gates and find out that the final judgement is really a competitive point system. How would we earn our points here on earth? We’d step up to the menu and read the rules.

Rule 1. Only the top 6% get to come into heaven. 
Rule 2: You compete only with those of your generation. Don’t ask if you can be judged with Noah. 

Rule 3: If you’re literate enough to read this, and lived after 1700 A.D. you had sufficient access to the rules as printed in the Scripture. No claims of ignorance will be heard.

Rule 4. Your scores are already tallied and posted in The Book.. . written in stone.

Rule 5 Even if in the top 6%, if you have a score lower than 500, you will be entered into a singing and harpist competition with slackers from other generations to determine access. 

Rule 6 Life was tough for all of us. Get over it.  



500 points for kindness, meekness, long-suffering, generosity, faith, honesty, virtue, modesty, wisdom, compassion and integrity.
200 points for skill, creativity, curiosity, determination, prudence, work.
100 points for humor, good cheer, charm, cleverness.
10 points for good grooming, a sense of style, and good sense.
Subtract points for the following
500 for cruelty, hatred, vulgarity, vanity, unforgiveness, bloodthirsty, greedy, robbery, and self-centeredness
200 for drunkeness, dishonesty, cheating, lying, unfaithfulness, truth-twisting, laziness, pride, loquaciousness.
50 for comb-overs, zits, freckles, general ugliness.
IF YOU FIND YOURSELF WITH A DEFICIT IN YOUR FINAL TALLY, MOVE TO THE LINE TO THE LEFT OF THE GATE AND WAIT TO SPEAK TO A MODERATOR!

We’d wait in line for what seemed an eternity. When we finally got near the front we’d hear the person ahead of us saying, “When did I see thee hungry and fed thee not? When did I see thee naked and clothed thee not? When were you lonely or frightened and  I failed to comfort you?. . .

Step right this way if you have a deficit to discuss!

With all that’s going on this world, I feel safe in saying, it’s almost curtain time.  This isn’t the rehearsal, this is the real event. Let’s make it count!


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2 Comments

  • Reply Jan Larsen July 21, 2015 at 12:42 am

    The dance group I performed in during high school provided entertainment while the judges are out so I have watched a pageant up close and personal from back stage and in dressing rooms from the first day of rehearsal until Miss !!! Was announced. All I can say is beauty pageants are nothing more than a glorified cattle show! I should know that too because I grew up on a farm and my grandfather was a cattle rancher! I've been to many a cattle auction! Even the prize money is just about the same! I would never have let my daughters be in a pageant and I would hope my grand daughters would never be in one either!

  • Reply Beth Stephenson July 21, 2015 at 12:44 am

    Ha! Jan, I love your insights. Mothers, take notes!

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