I knew with all of my heart at an early age that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. This became my rock, my foundation, and the light and hope that I desperately held onto throughout the lows in life.
Despite my parents repeating over and over again how much they wanted and loved me, I couldn’t get over the fact that the woman who gave me life, didn’t.
I had a chance to go away for college. I ended up going to Greeley Colorado. Since my mom had taken in her aunt there would be very few, if any, visits from her or dad. Having an old person with Alzheimer’s in the house = sooo not fun and tons of responsibility!
College, where my life took a huge turn. I experienced the regular culture shock of being on my own, away from any family, to make my own choices, to learn, and to grow. Thank goodness for phones and phone cards (I didn’t have a cell phone yet, but dad got me one for my eighteenth birthday).
I was sitting on my bed playing cards with two of my friends when I got a phone call that would change my life. My oldest sister, Morgan, was so stinking excited. She discovered that my brother had received a letter from our birth mom. He’d been hiding it for I don’t know how long. She’d found it on the basement stairs where he stowed some of his belongings (his room was in the basement). There was a number.
So Morgan dials the number and hands the phone to Chad. Candace picked up. I was terrified, excited, nervous… Too many emotions for one to use any ounce of logic or reasoning.
She verbally reiterated that she didn’t want me. Never did. Had she found out about me in time she would’ve had an abortion. No hard feelings. No love. Just matter of fact like.
She’d contacted us because of our little sister, Misty, who wanted to meet her older sister, mwah. She’d been through a lot and thought that I’d certainly been through what she’d been through, especially since she too was adopted.
My chin hit the ‘Talk’ button, hanging up my side of the conversation. I tried to call back my brother, but he didn’t answer. Turned out he wanted to talk to Candace alone.
I knew about Misty. My social worker had called my dad just before we moved to Colorado. Misty was in the hospital for the same reason I was. There was just no way we could stay. My dad was in the Air Force. He got a job in Colorado. He’d found a place for us to stay.
So how are these pros? Candace, unlike my mom, was devoid of emotions. This put a piece of the puzzle firmly into place. My family LOVES me. Every positive thing my mom and dad had ever done for me was solidified.